As I mentioned in a previous post, my "resolution" for this year is just one word: joy. You can read about this whole resolution revolution by visiting myoneword.org. When I thought about a word initially, joy jumped to mind. My instinct said "yes", but my humanness said "hold on there just one minute". I was afraid. I believed God wanted me to choose this word, but I was afraid. My experience has taught me that often when we choose to work on one flaw or the other, or when we decide to take on some sort of challenge that will bring improvement to/in us, the dam breaks, and suddenly, we're overwhelmed. But experience has also taught me that if you just hang on, things do level out. Then you start to notice growth.
So, why didn't I remember this experience? Well, I've struggled with tears and darkness and negativity enough to fear confronting my valleys. And confronting them with joy? How do I do that? I can't. But the Lord kept popping that verse into my head, "The joy of the Lord is your strength" (Nehemiah 8:10). How can I beat that. My next question, though? How is Your joy my strength? How does that work? His answer? "Come let us reason together" (Isaiah 1:18). You want me to figure this out, Lord? But how? When? Then came the peace of knowing that I didn't need to figure it out overnight, and that the God of the universe wants to spend quality time with me, teaching me to be stronger, teaching me His ways. Wow.
The dam did break after I officially chose joy, but the good thing is that I have hope. Watch my Facebook status for the things in which I find joy from day to day. And check back here for a chronicle of my growth this year. By the end, we should know how the joy of the Lord is our strength.